A friend asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said ” To either die or wake up in a hospital bed forgetting everything.” Their eyes got really big and I think their point of view of me changed.
I’m tired of fighting
I’m tired of feeling not good enough
I’m tired of screwing up
I’m tired of this.
When is it gonna be over
I’m tired of this. I wish I had never picked up that blade for the first time. Now whenever things get bad I always need it. It’s always the first thing on my mind when things get too hard. It’s addicting in the worst possible way. It eventually consumes your mind and you can’t stop it. I can’t go a single day without thinking about it. I wish I had never started this. Because I can’t stop. Now it’s all I have. One day this will be the death of me.